It’s Sunday Night, and I’m spending it listening to some new music*, realizing I just went through a rather insane week. I met some new folks, played D&D as a player character for the first time in at least three years, tried to find a way to balance my budget to last me a bit longer, AND had a bit of a bad night. It’s a surprising amount of things for me, to be terribly honest. A lot of highs, a lot of lows, and a lot of growing and changing. I’m getting used to life away from my parents again and finding what I did love about it. The only problem is, I’m finding it a little bit hard to write, and I think I can actually kinda blame that on not having a job yet.
I’m gonna go a bit Psychology 101 for a second, but bear with me. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is normally represented in a pyramid where the most basic of needs (The Physiological, e.g. food, water, breathing, sleep) are at the bottom and need to be met first by a person before they’re ready and able to jump to the second set of needs. I’m sitting with safety only partially covered, considering I’m still jobless at the moment, and things still feel a bit shaky. The thing is, that will be taken care of rather quickly once I’m able to get full time work. The thing is, I’ve already got the next two stages (Love/Belonging and Esteem) relatively well covered, though I don’t really feel the full positive effect of those until I’ve met that Safety stage’s requirements. That puts me at the self actualization level, and that’s where I start to thrive.
I think that’s why I was able to write the first draft of a novel over the summer last year. Now, does that mean I can only write in times that are easy? Hell no, not by a long shot. Sometimes there’s a story that will get into your head and won’t let you get rid of it until it’s down on paper or on screen. Sometimes you get lucky and something just flows. Then there’s also times where you just write because you don’t know what else you have to do but write. That’s how it seems to work for me, at least.
Still, there is the possibility that I’m using the Hierarchy of Needs as a means to procrastinate the hell out of work I need to get done. To a degree, with the writing, that is true. There’ve been some days where writing on the stories that I’m currently working on wouldn’t have been great on. The stories would’ve suffered or I would’ve felt like I wasn’t doing quality work and would’ve beat myself up worse than I already had. Neither one of those options really held up well when I looked at them, so those days I’m able to take a pass on. As I’ve gotten applications out in the last few days, though, I’ve been in a position where I can take some of my time each day working on my writing and I’ve just not been doing that. I need to not procrastinate. I can do this and do it well, I just need to get over some of the more personal problems and hurdles I have and just write.
Thankfully, I think I may be reaching that point already. I’ve already blogged this month (February) more than I had in January and pretty close to the same as the amount I posted in December and January. I’m writing more often again, even if it’s not in one of my stories. That’s a good sign of things to come, at least I hope it’s a good sign.
*M83’s Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming for the curious.