Well, I’m going to do what I said and admit when I don’t do my writing for the day. Yesterday, I didn’t do any of my writing for my goal. If I were to blame anything, it was because work was kinda crazy that day and I came home, ate dinner, then collapsed in a heap, keeping up with some of the news, and then watching the MST3K for The Beast of Yucca Flats while falling asleep earlier than normal. It was honestly a good thing for me (until I somehow pulled a muscle in my leg while I slept), and I think I can live with a missed day every now and again?
As for punishment on missing a day, this is about it. I admit it, write int he blog or in my notebook for that day’s 800 words, and then roll on down the river. I honestly think it’s better for me this way. In the past I piled up the pages I didn’t finish in a given week, or I made myself feel bad, I I tried to justify it as something that it was good that I didn’t write.
From now on, I’ll do my best to write 800 words a day. Most days I’m breaking 800 words, and a couple times I’ve broken that handily, and I’m genuinely proud of the work I’ve done so far. I’ve written a lot more in this blog than I have in months, and then on top of that I wrote one short story that I think would be a good way to look at myself a bit, and then I wrote an early short story that is sci-fi that I’m incredibly excited about! I haven’t had a concept I’ve been that excited about since I started the movie theater script earlier this year (which I could probably get back on without a problem) or my Regular Show script I wrote a couple months ago (which is still on my hard drive and will probably go nowhere else. I’m genuinely hitting a point where I’m enjoying to write again.
It’s not really much work at the moment. It will be once I start to push myself into writing not just more, but better. What you’re seeing on this blog is early me. Honestly, I haven’t tried to write terribly hard on here. Every once in a while I’ll try a new word or phrase, or try and dig deeper into some subject. It can be interesting and be good for my brain to deal with. I need to be able to challenge myself, but really especially when it comes to starting up on something and making something I love a habit, I have to start doing well at the level I’m at, then I can move forward from there and make further challenges for myself.
It’s kinda sad that you can fall out of the habit of doing something you love, but I know it’s happened to me more than once. My writing isn’t the only example. A good one would be my reading. When I was in high school, I stopped reading much of anything. I’d read for my classes and it all was well and good, but I didn’t really find the enjoyment of it again till much later (2009). My video game playing has dropped significantly int he last 5 months. I used to play Team Fortress 2, League of Legends, and sometimes World of Warcraft with friends on an almost daily basis. They were great times. But now I’ve played maybe 2 hours of a single player game in the last month.
I don’t know why my personality is that way, but it really does suck. There are still things that I know I love to do (play D&D, for instance) that I’m genuinely worried that I’m going to soon reach the point where I just stop doing that exclusively because I’m not in the habit of doing it. It’s a damn terrible place to be. I should honestly probably try to look around for a way to try and change that about myself. I mean that easily seems like a huge problem that I should address quite quickly. Should I really have to be in a rut of some kind just to be able to enjoy something I do.That really shouldn’t be the case.
Ok, that tears it. I’m going to start trying to find a way to get around that little hurtle inside my own head that keeps me doing things like putting myself in a rut to get that enjoyment. That doesn’t mean in the slightest that I’m stopping the writing though. No way in hell. I’m gonna keep this up till I keel over. There may be some days where I miss, and there may be some days where I say I don’t care, but honestly, a day won’t be a truly good day until after I write something, which is something that I really hope gets ingrained into my system as time goes on.