(If you’re tired of reading my posts about being discouraged on the job hunt or the related subjects, I’d recommend skipping this post.)
Well, if there’s one thing I’ve really noticed as of late, I need to make sure that I’m keeping myself busy. Whether it’s a work project, or writing something fun, or riding around outside to get groceries, keeping on a task is helping me to keep sane.
I’m not going to put it lightly, I freaked out for a bit today. I had another one of those moments where it hit me that I’m three years out of school now. I’ve not had a single full time job. This isn’t for lack of trying, either. I applied for full time positions when I was in Indiana, at multiples a week. Then, at one point, I found the full time listings that I would qualify for were drying up. My chances were slim to none to be able to reach those needed hours in Indiana, so with the help of a friend that’s too kind, I moved to Austin. I was hoping I would be able to get into a full time position within the first three months, and I’d be moved out by May and on my own. If it isn’t obvious, that’s not worked out.
I’m currently working a part time job that I don’t enjoy, and constantly looking for full time work. And now, instead of feeling like I’m taking advantage of my parents, I feel like I’m taking advantage of one of my closest friends. I hate both options; neither one is something I wanted. I still want to be on my own. I want to be able to afford an apartment where I can have a pet cat. I want to pay off my student loans. I want to work somewhere that’s not necessarily the place I want to be because it will give me the chance to move into something I do want to move into in the future.
Basically, I want to feel like I’m a fully functioning adult.
It was rough for a while today. I attempted to contact a business that I was working on the application process with last week, but I haven’t heard any word back yet. The worry that I may not get an interview (again) I think is what set me off. I was feeling all the stress from all of this crashing down on me again, making me feel like my problems were bigger than I was. For a few seconds, I believed they were. Thanks to one of my friends, I was able to pull out of that spiral and think clearly again. From that point on, I spent the afternoon working on a plethora of different things. I applied for two jobs, I found employment agencies within a couple miles of the house and I plan on going to at least one of them tomorrow, if not two. I hunted for more positions and I’ve got a couple applications I’m getting started on.
Then, I took some time to get work done on projects that aren’t my job, but I’d love to see be my work some day. I got my script out to a few test readers (I’m hoping I can find a few more), I’ve started with the first page of the second draft of last year’s summer novel/novella (no idea where it’s gonna land page count wise). Something I’m excited about with that story that I didn’t have earlier today was that it now has a title which I’m not sharing yet. Even the story I just started a week ago, Heartbleed (yes, that’s what I’m calling it for now. You can’t stop me!), is getting moved from my notebook to my writing software. The nice thing with both stories is that they’re both already seeing big changes, though the unnamed story may be getting a revamp again something more similar to it’s original opening. Both stories are in flux, but in a good way. Now, as I’ve been writing this, I kinda want to do a very short story version. It almost feels a little bit like it could be a cautionary tale in short form. This could be fun!
It was a shockingly productive day which is moving into a shockingly productive night as I’m working now not just on this post, but also on the site itself. I’m looking into making another design change to the site by picking up a new skin. Once I make a decision on that, I’m looking to do a full redesign from the ground up. It’s been too long since I coded a site of my own, and I want to see if I have the skills to get a WordPress version of my site working from completely original code. Don’t expect to see a big movement on that any time soon, but I’m hoping that I’ll have a fully original design within the next 6 months or so. I’ve already started to dig back into Photoshop to make some test designs. Those aren’t anywhere near done. They’re basically line art with no color palette planning or anything yet. I don’t even know what widgets are going to go where (or how to code that in), but it’s going to be a goo challenge for me. I’ll come out the other end with another good skill that can be useful somewhere else.
Hells pells, now I want to attempt to do a podcast again at some point, too. And I want to write for a HitRECord.org project now. I also want to make sure I have something to take to the writer’s group that I’m planning on going to in two weeks as well. I’ve got a lot on my hands now. If I keep on task, I’m not going to be able to freak myself out over what’s going on with me. Do I still have problems that I need solutions to? Absolutely, yes, a multitude. That doesn’t mean I have to let it scare me though, and I think I found one way to keep from getting in my own way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a couple projects to work on before I collapse into sleep.