I’m less than half a month away from taking a flight out of Indianapolis and touching down in my new home of Austin, Texas. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a bit scary. I’ve been “on my own” before. I lived in a house, away from my parents for two years in college. I didn’t take it well when I realized I couldn’t stay that course and had to move back into my parents’ place. I’ve been hoping to get out since. Even in those two houses, though, I was still rather close to family and if I needed help, I could get it. Now, though, I’m looking at over a thousand miles between me and my nearest relations. I can call them up, but I’m going to be truly on my own in this sense for the first time. Don’t think this is me discounting the help I’m getting from my friends in Austin; were it not for them, I wouldn’t even be making this move in the first place. Also, I’ve never flat out quit a job before. I’ve had to leave due to graduation, I’ve been laid off after the holidays, but I’ve never left a job in my life. That happened technically at the start of December, when I turned in what ended up being my near three week notice at work. Friday is when this becomes a reality, though. I’ll be done at my current place of employment and out on the hunt again.
With all this change coming down the pipe, I’m getting the oddest feeling. It feels as if none of this is really happening. I wake up in the mornings and things feel off. I walk around and reality feels like it’s going to tear away and it’ll all have been just some strange fever dream and I’m going to wake up in the same old job that I’ve been in for closing in on a year and a half. I’ll still be living with my parents and life won’t be changing at all for me. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced it and it’s been making each day that I move closer to the end of my time here more and more surreal. I don’t think there’s anything more to take out of this, other than the fact that I’m not used to majorly big changes. That doesn’t happen for me often, and I think this is just part of my brain’s process for going through something like this.
Does this mean I’m giving up on the move? Not in the slightest, amigo. Does this mean that I think I can’t handle this? Possibly; but that does come with the fact that I’m always harder on myself than I need to be. I think this is just me starting to prepare myself for a lot of change in a short amount of time. It’s all going to be incredibly real very soon. Hopefully, the sooner I reach that point, the sooner these odd sensations will go away.