What Is This Feeling?!

I woke up Monday morning with the strangest of strange sensations.

I felt good.

It wasn’t just any kind of good, either. There was a bit of contentment in it. I was pretty happy, which threw me a bit off kilter at first. I haven’t felt like this in what honestly amounts to years. The last time I felt it was in college, but I can’t remember exactly what the cause of that feeling was at that point. I also know what wasn’t causing it at this point. Am I still living in my childhood room? Yes. Am I still living in Muncie, not feeling I can step up to a job I want? Yes. Do I see my friends as much as I wish I could? No. I think I can pinpoint what it is now, though.

As you’ve seen in the last few months, I’ve been writing. Deccember and part of January were both outliers, but for good reasons. This month though, I’ve been writing near every day. The first week I logged about 1000 words, but after that, I’ve been writing at least 500 words a day, if not more. It’s been utterly fantastic. I’ve spent the majority of the time writing in Overture, and was originally counting my word count towards that exclusively. Yesterday though, I realized that I had a short story starting to bubble up, and I didn’t want to count against myself for it not being part of Overture. So now all my writing counts towards that. That’s turning into a huge boon for myself, ans I’ve started writing more than I ever have before in a short time. I eve put together what I call a microstory today. I just thought it was something fun that had popped in my head, and when I got it down I was pretty happy with it. I may share it some day, I may not. It’s only about six lines, but I really enjoyed it. Got a chuckle out of me, which isn’t normal.

Writing is making me feel fantastic. I’m creating stories, getting them down on the page and then on top of that, I’m enjoying myself. Do I enjoy production work? Absolutely. Do I enjoy putting together D&D adventures? Utterly. None of these, though are giving me the kind of thrill  that I’m getting out of writing these stories. I’m even getting enjoyment doing things like writing this blog now. It’s not that I’ve got a ton of readers. I don’t. Honestly, I kind of like that. The people that see this for the most part are the people I really want to see this. Still, that’s not the point. It’s being able to organize my thoughts, put them down on paper or the screen, and then see them start to form into something that sometimes I didn’t see forming into what they become. The evolution of the writing is really something interesting to watch. I can see it changing as I read over some of my older writing as well, and it actually makes me feel like I’m developing at something that has some aspect of skill to it.

I’ve never before the last year seen myself as a writer of anything but school papers. I saw mysel as someone who could do production, or just as someone who really didn’t have much of a skill in anything other than gaming, reading, as well as watching and analyzing film and television (whether the analysis was wanted or not). I’m figuring out something that I really love, and I think I may be actually good with at some point in the future. It’s a nice feeling, and I’d be more than glad for it to stay.

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